For the first time ever
I should be at the airport this morning. I had my ticket.
For weeks, I have been asked when I would return to Haiti, and here’s how I had answered:
When the PAP airport opens
When I feel peace from God
When Steeve says yes.
But it never occurred to me that I would be hearing yes and Steeve would be hearing no. We’ve always been in agreement on things.
After much prayer, I had purchased a ticket for today. It seemed to line up perfectly. American Airlines started flying yesterday. I had determined a while back I really didn’t want to be on the first flight back, but being on the 2nd flight seemed reasonable.
In fact, last week I had packed my first checked bag as it seemed more and more likely American Airlines would actually fly as scheduled, after canceling earlier re-start dates.
But then on Tuesday, in a staff meeting, I mentioned coming on Friday, and Vorb’s reaction was strong, so strong that I grabbed a pen and wrote down what he said:
“I don't like the atmosphere of the country. Because of the love I have for you, I want us to be cautious. The country is like a bomb. It may seem calm right now, but we don't know what is cooking.”
Later in the day, at the end of English class, Widecherline asked me, “When are you coming to Haiti?” and, before I could even respond, the two adults on the call jumped in to say that it was not a good idea to come, that they would not be in favor of that.
And then on Tuesday night, Steeve and I talked, and I was surprised to hear him say, “Don’t come right now.” He’s never said that before.
Earlier in the day I had asked a Haitian friend who is not a part of Hait Awake what he thought about my returning to Haiti this week, and this is what he said:
“Of course, it's a movie quote because it's me🤣.
‘You can break something in two seconds. But it can take forever to fix it. A lifetime, generations. That's why we have to be careful on this earth and gentle.’
The relationship I have seen you build in Haiti is so, so precious, Becky. That's why your decision has, to some extent, involve their thoughts and feelings on it; unfortunately, in some seasons, they get the last word on what is done.”
And it’s true. I’ve always said that I would listen to the advice of our local partners and do what they say in a situation like this. Now is my chance to live that out - even though it still doesn’t “feel right” to me.
Therefore, today I will continue to love across the miles via Google Meet and be thankful for the ways we do have to stay in touch, even when we can’t physically embrace.
But that doesn’t mean it’s easy because everything in me feels like I am supposed to be in Haiti today.
