It’s a day to remember
Eleven years ago today, Steeve Derard received his first “yes” from the US Embassy in Port-au-Prince, and he was granted a US visas for the very first time. We rejoiced.
In 2019, he renewed that US visa simply by filling out a form and sending his passport in via DHL for the new stamp to be attached.
In 2024, we traveled to Jamaica to get his visa renewed, as this became the only option.
Through the years Steeve has traveled back and forth many times - so many times he’s lost count. He has always honored the stipulations of his visa, and he has not done anything he should not have done.
Yet today his ability to travel to the US going forward is in question, along with valid visa holders from a number of countries.
Today, as we have done so many times in recent years, we rejoice in what the Lord has done in the past and continue to hope for better days in the future.
Today that day came
For months Steeve’s walking shoes have been sitting on the back stairs that come up from the garage. They’ve been a constant reminder of the great divide between Port-au-Prince and Wilmington and a constant question of when (if?) Steeve would ever make it back to Wilmington to wear them.
Today that day came.
Glwa pou Bondye.
What if . . . ?
What if we did it out of love?
What if, instead of building ever-increasing church campuses (read “bigger barns”), we began making investments in the church that exists in underserved, under-resourced areas?
What if we helped them, came alongside them, and built their capacity, so they were given what they need to be change agents in their neighborhood?
What if we did all these things without taking over?
What if we did it out of love?
What if we believed that those who already have a primary stake in their community were more effective agents of change than outsiders coming in?
What if we believed that God was not calling us to do easy things, but difficult things that required His help?
What if we quit empire building and started Kingdom building?
What if we got a vision of little barns?
---Keith Stewart
And then there were two
This big house is so quiet. I remember the days - and nights! - of pure chaos, high energy, loud chatter, sibling-styled arguments.
We decided to keep this house, provided we have the finances, until Davensky and Handy leave our care in order to provide them with a level of stability given the fact that so much of their lives has been unstable.
Why did I come to Haiti this week? I came for a variety of reasons and for a variety of people, but these two are my most important “why.”
When they were little guys, I remember their voices calling, “Se Becky! Se Becky! Se Becky!” as they asked me to watch them jump rope, do a cartwheel, run in a circle, jump off the porch. In time, the vocal calls disappeared, but the desire for attention has remained the same. Playing soccer or basketball with the big boys, if they scored a goal or made a basket, they would immediately look my way, making sure I had seen the accomplishment. And today, as they are teenagers, it’s the subtle smiles that let me know they still desire to be seen, to be acknowledged, to know they are truly loved.
Connections of the heart
I can’t say we asked in faith “nothing wavering” because I know my faith wavered again and again. Yet God was always faithful.
Nearly 12 years ago, God, in His providence, allowed my path to cross with a group of children who were living in an incredibly difficult situation. In the months and years that followed, we saw our Father do immeasurably more than we could have asked or imagined. We prayed for miracles, and we saw them come to pass time and time again. I can’t say we asked in faith “nothing wavering” because I know my faith wavered again and again. Yet God was always faithful.
This week it was as if everything had come full circle because for a few precious hours, I was able to spend time with Idelmy and Lorvens. The miles between us have been great for such a long time, but during that sacred time we shared, time and miles vanished. It was as if we had never been apart.
Sitting together on a borrowed porch in Cap Haitien, speaking as adults, hearing their stories, I was reminded of this verse:
“I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth.”
They both have matured significantly in recent months, and I am so proud of the men they are becoming.
Haiti can be discouraging. Recent years have been difficult beyond words. There have been days I have regretted ever giving my heart to a place that has brought so much sorrow into my life. I can’t “unknow” what I know.
But God . . .
Tuesday reminded me why I have given my heart to this place that many have forsaken. It is these times that remind me that investing in one life is worth all the pain. It is these times when the joy I find in this place far outweighs the regret.
Many thanks to those of you who invested in the children’s lives for so many years. Although I have had the privilege of being in close physical proximity, without so many of you, this story would never have come to pass.
The story of Kay Timoun was particularly impacted by one man who met the children in 2015 and asked, “Why are they living like this?” and went home determined to make a difference. And that’s what he has done. He and his family have been making a difference these last 10 years - not just for Idelmy and Lorvens, but for all the children who have called Kay Timoun home.
Glwa pou Bondye.
Until we meet again!
It’s 2025
My very first conversation of 2025.
My conversation with Idelmy reminded me that loving Haiti is worth the struggle, that knowing Haiti is worth the sorrow, and investing in one Haitian can change everything.
Per the usual, I woke up early this morning. I woke up to many messages like this:
Haitians love celebrating the new year. I love sleep. While many friends were texting at midnight last night, I was sleeping.
So this morning I went through and answered each message with my own “Happy New Year” message.
And one person wrote back just after 5 a.m.: Idelmy. Sweet Idelmy.
My first conversation of 2025 was life-giving, encouraging, a reminder of the goodness of God.
My conversation with Idelmy reminded me that loving Haiti is worth the struggle, that knowing Haiti is worth the sorrow, and investing in one Haitian can change everything.
Glwa pou Bondye.
Looking into the New Year
We’re in full planning mode for 2025 at Haiti Awake. I spent a good portion of today thinking through logistics, thinking about how we’ve had to adjust this year, wondering how we will have to adjust in 2025.
The one thing that has been consistent since this all started in July of 2018 is that we’re constantly adapting to something new.
”We can’t do that anymore? Okay, let’s do this instead.”
”Oh! That opportunity is available again? Let’s pursue it.”
“Wait! That door that opened three days ago has closed again. Let’s pivot.”
Over the years, I’ve emphasized to staff the importance of being proactive versus reactive, how necessary it is to plan instead of respond. And so we have contingency plans for our contingency plans which are contingency plans for other plans . . . and on and on it goes.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed, to be discouraged. But here’s the truth: We’re still standing, by God’s grace. We never would have believed in April we would be able to say that in December. But it’s true.
We do not know what the days ahead will bring. There are sure to be hard times beyond what we anticipate, and there is sure to be joy far greater than we could possibly imagine.
But we hope to share with you at the end of 2025 that we’re still standing, by God’s grace.
Don’t blink
Handy has gone from being this little guy . . .
To being this medium-sized guy . . .
To being this guy who is practically a grown up.
Happy 15th Birthday, Handy Oge.
May you always know just how loved you are.
What does this mean for the future of Haiti Awake?
I have to admit. I felt this was coming. But now that the announcement has been officially made, it does feel so final, so real, so heavy.
As I sat in Haiti at our 10th anniversary celebration in October, I felt as if I was holding a holy moment in time, a moment I would look back on with great nostalgia and longing. Little did we know that October trip would be my last trip to Haiti for the foreseeable future.
When Pastor Steeve came to the US for the month of June, little did we know that would be his last trip to the United States for the foreseeable future.
But God knew. In His infinite knowledge, He knew. Nothing catches God by surprise.
“Standing here
Not knowing how we’ll get through this test
But holding onto faith, You know best
Nothing can catch You by surprise
You got this figured out and You’re watching us now”
What does the absence of commercial air travel mean for the future of Haiti Awake? Very simply, it means we will need to adapt - again. We are adept at adapting as that has been the only way to keep the ministry moving forward in the chaos of the last 6.5 years.
All these years we have been saying, “These are hard days in Haiti.” And we so long for a better day, a day we cannot yet see. Though I have known the following verse most of my life, it now carries a completely different meaning.
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.”
Please continue to pray for the communities we serve in Haiti. While my heart is grieving from afar, this chaos and dysfunction is daily life for those I have come to love as family. It is hard to explain the great suffering that is taking place in close proximity to both of our facilities and the incredibly difficult issues the Haiti Awake staff faces on a personal level day-by-day.
I cannot emphasize enough how much a Google Meet would mean to staff and children. If you would give 30 minutes, it would be so encouraging.
“But to a friend, time is an investment of the heart, not just the hand. Friends spend time.”
With all of my heart I desire to return to Haiti as soon as the possibility presents itself. I long to give hugs, to have face-to-face conversations, to share a meal, to laugh together. Perhaps that day will come sooner than we expect. But until that day, we will continue to remember to remember - just like we did as we sat together for our anniversary celebration less than two months ago.
“Remember the way He led us up to the top of the highest mountain
Remember the way He carried us through the deepest dark
Remember His promises for every step on the road ahead
Look where we’ve been and where we’re going
And remember to remember.”
Isn't It Lovely?
"May I please tell you about that piece of art?" I asked a lady who was browsing the Mission Made Jewelry table.
Before she could say anything, I continued. "My friend, Vladimir, made that. Isn't it lovely?"
The lady stopped and looked at me.
"Well, thank you. I was afraid you were about to tell me about poor people. I'm not interested in a pity story. Now I'm listening. Tell me more."
Do for the next 20 minutes, we talked about the beauty of Haitian products as she browsed the table, choosing 10 different items - including this one - as Christmas gifts for family and friends.
She took Vladimir's cards, one for each gift, because she wants her friends and family to know who made their gift.
"I'm glad I stopped by," she said as she walked away.
Ma'am, I'm glad, too. Thanks for letting you tell you about all of the good things to be found in Haiti. Thanks for focusing on that part of the narrative. 🇭🇹❤️
I choose responsibility
It is hard to believe that Steeve Derard wrote this five years ago and Haiti is no closer to resolution today than it was then. And yet, we have seen our Father do "exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think" in these difficult years (Ephesians 3:20).
Though it once again feels as if the country is standing on the edge of the precipice, "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure" (Hebrews 6:19).
How thankful I am for these years of knowing and loving Haiti. Haiti Awake remains committed to our communities, and I personally remain committed to the people I've been walking with for all of these years.
In his book, Visions of Vocation, Steven Garber asks: "Why is it, in the face of situations that seem too complex, too broken, that human beings sometimes still choose to enter in - knowing that they will suffer, knowing that it will cost them - that for love’s sake they still choose responsibility?"
On days when it all feels like it's too much, when I don't believe I can bear to hear one more story, when I just want to go back to living a normal American life, oblivious to the great suffering just miles off our shores, this quote plays on repeat in my head:
"You may choose to look the other way, but you can never say again that you did not know." William Wilberforce
Today I still choose responsibility.
October 20, 2024 - our last photo together. We had every belief that we would be together again on November 15.
But today we are heartbroken
I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
Revelation 21:3-4
This is Kelly.
He used to be an inmate at CERMICOL. When he was released about 2 years ago, he started coming to church faithfully. The church came around him, loved him, helped him start a small business.
He was even part of the podcast with WORLD last year.
Then about 3 months ago, he didn't come to church. Weeks passed. No one could find him. No one heard from him.
Yesterday we received word that he was executed about 3 months ago. Why? Because of his past life. Because people were suspicious of him because of who he had been, not because of who he had become.
But by all accounts, he had left that old life behind. He was a new creation in Christ.
Kelly’s story was one of the “wins” we had seen in Haiti. We had shared so much joy being part of his journey.
But today we are heartbroken. 💔
It was a weekend to remember
We’re still standing, by God’s grace. Steeve and I talked about that last night. In a time when so many ministries in Haiti are having to scale back operations or cease to exist, Haiti Awake continues to move forward. We feel so blessed and so thankful.
The party on Saturday was a testament to the kindness of God in the midst of unspeakable difficulty, a time to forget all that’s taking place around the country and simply focus on celebration.
Vorb was an amazing MC. Hosting an event is truly a gift he has. I was amazed by the attention to detail the staff gave to planning. Everything from decorations to table attendants to entertainment to food was on point.
The days ahead are uncertain, but we will continue to trust in the faithfulness of God, believing He is writing a story far better than one could envision for ourselves.
Walking down memory lane
Remember the way He led you up to the top of the highest mountain
Remember the way He carried you through the deepest dark
Remember His promises for every step on the road ahead
Look where you've been and where you're going
And remember to remember
Steven Curtis Chapman
On Saturday we will celebrate Haiti Awake’s 10th birthday. 10 years. Glwa pou Bondye.
This morning I am looking through old photos, and once again I am reminded of the goodness of God through all of the hills and all of the valleys.
We had no idea where this journey would take us. The joy and the sorrow. But how thankful I am for it all.
The gift of knowing
I’ve spent the last few days in an area of the USA that’s very different from where I live, both in landscape and culture. And it has stretched me. Quite a bit. The people around me don’t see the world the way I do. I’m in the minority.
I have been reminded once again of the gift of Haiti, the gift of knowing more than my own backyard, the gift of meeting new friends who’ve helped me look at the world from different angles, recognizing that there is something to learn from each place you visit and each person you meet.
“True love flows out of mutuality, where we blur the lines between those who are serving and those who are receiving, and where we humbly acknowledge that we all have something to offer and something to receive from one another. ”
He Won’t Fail
I've still got joy in chaos
I've got peace that makes no sense
So, I won't be going under
I'm not held by my own strength
'Cause I've built my life on Jesus
He's never let me down
He's faithful in every season
So, why would He fail now?
Cody Carnes
I walked into morning worship a few minutes late because I had been talking with a friend downstairs. As I waited my turn to enter, the moment captured my heart as I heard believers who’ve walked through fire sing from their hearts. And despite the fears that still surround the country, the gate stood open - just as it does every week - a testament to their belief that Christ is the firm foundation.
A new friend
The LORD protects foreigners; He sustains the fatherless and the widow, but the ways of the wicked He frustrates.
Psalm 146:9
The tender mercies of our Father.
Boarding a flight from Dayton to Charlotte, the man in front of me was asked the standard exit row question about assisting in an emergency. He looked confused, and I knew. He doesn't speak English, and he's Haitian. So I jumped in to translate for both him and the gate agent. After boarding, I went to him and told him I was sorry for the way some people are talking about Haitians right now. I told him that I love Haitians. I told him Haitians are some of the best people I know. And he smiled. Broadly.
After we landed in CLT, I waited for him, inviting him to join me in the lounge for a bite to eat. There we talked, and he freely shared his story. And I felt honored that he was willing to tell me of his journey.
I just left him at his gate - C10 - and I walked on to mine - C17.
And right now my heart is praising the Lord for giving me a few minutes with a fellow traveler named Eliden.
Haitians have my heart.
Paris 2024
People everywhere are draped in their nation’s flags this week in Paris, but it brought me the greatest joy to see this family Saturday, wearing the Haitian flag.
Their little girl was beyond thrilled when I took out my own Haitian flag and we took some photos together.
Lakay se lakay.
Where do I start this story?
I think back to 2014 when Steeve first applied for his U.S. visa. “Everyone” told us he wouldn’t get it … for so many reasons. But, he applied. We prayed. We believed. And as Steeve said when he called me that morning in March, 2014 after this appointment, “We have victory.”
Steeve made his first trip to the United States on August 4, 2014. Since then, he’s traveled here a number of times. In fact, he’s traveled so often that when I recently asked him how many times he’s entered the U.S. he said, “I have no idea.”
The U.S. visa renewal in 2019 was easy, straightforward. But then everything changed in Haiti, and beginning in 2022, we started to wonder if it would even be possible for him to get his visa renewed again. The “usual way” of renewing wasn’t an option anymore.
His U.S. visa would expire in January 2025, so we began thinking ahead.
That’s one of the reasons we took that trip to Israel last year. We wanted to use Steeve’s U.S. visa while he still had it. In fact, we made a number of travel plans with “if you can’t leave Haiti again, at least we have . . .”
Then in October of 2023, I was in Washington, DC, with my daughter-in-law, Hannah, and her mom. One of the things we did was tour the Capitol through the office of Senator Thom Tillis. Sitting in Senator Tillis’ office, I overheard a staffer say something on a call that led me to ask, “Could I explain a situation to you and see if this is something the senator’s office could help us with?” And the response was yes. So I shared Steeve’s situation and how Haiti Awake, a NC-based 501(c)(3), benefits from his ability to travel to the United States.
After that, one e-mail led to another and then a call with the Deputy Director of Constituent Services in December. Steeve was visiting when she called, so we were both able to be on the call and hear her advice which came down to this: Find a US Embassy willing to see you in a country other than Haiti.
As it turns out, that’s easier said than done. There are a limited number of appointments worldwide, as well as a limited number of places Steeve might be able to travel with a Haitian passport. In the end, we had settled on either Kingston, Jamaica or Tel Aviv, Israel.
However, with the Port-au-Prince airport closed for nearly three months, we went from having sufficient time to work on getting the visa renewed to practically no time to do it because the current visa expires on January 7, 2025, and one of the stipulations to renewing a US visa in a country not your own is that the applicant must be seen at an Embassy more than 6 months before that expiration date. When Steeve arrived in the US on June 3, we realized we were racing against the clock because July 7 was the deadline.
Initially, we were unable to secure an appointment in Kingston, but Senator Tillis’ office helped us with that. On June 4, we scheduled an appointment at the US Embassy in Kingston, Jamaica for June 27, at 10:30 am, the earliest date that was available.
However, Jamaica required Steeve to have a Jamaican visa to enter, and we were running out of time to secure that, as well.
In fact, my husband, Rick, hired G3 Visas Global Services to take Steeve’s application for a visa to the Jamaican Embassy in Washington, DC, because we could not secure an appointment on our own for the visa to Jamaica in the needed timeframe. (All of this visa talk is confusing, isn’t it? We were trying to get Steeve’s US visa renewed, but he also needed a visa from the Jamaican government to enter Jamaica.)
After a great deal of back and forth, including multiple phone calls to PICA in Jamaica, Steeve’s visa to Jamaica was secured on June 21.
On June 25 Steeve and I left for Kingston, and the rest of the story is fairly uneventful.
We arrived as scheduled, spent June 26 exploring Jamaica, and though his appointment was scheduled for 10:30 on June 27, Steeve went to the Embassy early, about 8 a.m., expecting to wait in the long line that had already formed outside. However, roughly an hour later he was back at the apartment where we were staying with news of “success!”
We were happy to spend the rest of the day exploring on a rainy day in Kingston and having a celebratory meal.
Though we were told it might take a week or longer to have the actual visa in hand, at his appointment he was given a pickup date of July 1.
However, yesterday, June 28, Steeve received an email stating his US visa was ready for pickup.
This process is finished until the expiration date five years from now. We are so thankful for all of the people who helped along the way and all of you who were praying.
Special thanks to Lauren and Brian at G3Visas for their attention and patience in helping us secure the visa for Jamaica. It was a stressful process with a tight timeline, but they were with us every step of the way.
Special thanks to Miss James in the visa office in Kingston who helped us navigate last-minute specifics required by the Jamaican government.
Special thanks to my husband, Rick, who helped Steeve fill out the DS-160 to apply for the US visa renewal and took care of most of the details surrounding the trip to Jamaica (and listened to me stress-out about this for most of the month of June).
Special thanks to Ms. Osborne in Senator Tillis’ office who cheered us on and was one of our first calls after Steeve received a “yes” at the Embassy in Jamaica.
Special thanks to all of you who reached out day-by-day for updates, reminding us that you were praying and cheering us on.
And as you have heard us say so many times through the years for reasons too numerous to count, “Glwa pou Bondye.”
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20
