Knowledge is sorrow

I’ve been putting off giving this update because I just don’t know what to say. There’s a lot to say, actually, but much of it is deep and private and feels so intimate, so sacred.

I like to write from a place of authenticity and openness, but trying to express what transpired over the weekend just feels too vulnerable.

It was so, so good.

It was so, so heavy.

To a certain degree, that’s the way it always is in Haiti - balancing the joy and the sorrow. But this time it was even more so as we were dealing with heartbreaking individual situations while celebrating the joy of the season with so many.

Lord Byron once said, “Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest.” And I feel that. The knowledge that Haiti has brought me is often soul-crushing, and yet it is that same knowledge that has freed me to love others well and hope for the best in the midst of overwhelming circumstances.

There is joy, as evidenced by these photos.

I ran into Michael Anello at the airport about an hour before leaving Port-au-Prince. I had never met him face-to-face before, but we talked. I mean, really talked, about the things that matter. In Michael I found a kindred spirit and someone who helped me process some of the thoughts that were swirling in my head.

It was good for my soul to have time to process some things verbally before leaving the country.

The Scriptures say, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” That’s what Michael did for me. He helped carry a little of the load.

And that’s what I really need most days. People who understand as few can, people who recognize the responsibility that comes with knowledge, and people who know that often we can’t fix a situation, but we can listen with empathy.