I’m just trying to act normal - March 7

I am at RMN in Charlotte. I am just trying to act like everything’s normal while watching my phone, waiting for Dr. Robinson to call, waiting for more information. Waiting.

I am carrying this secret. And no one knows. I have cancer. But I look perfectly normal, perfectly healthy, and yet there is disease lurking inside - a disease that’s actually making me look good as it produces ridiculous amounts of estrogen. My hair, my skin. They’re amazing.

That was actually my first clue that something was wrong months ago. My hair. My hair that I have always loved. It was just too good - too healthy, too shiny, too full, too vibrant. It reminded me of the way my hair was before the initial diagnosis in 2019.

Isn’t it ironic that very thing that is bringing me so many compliments, “Becky, your hair looks amazing! What did you do this morning?” is the very thing that will kill me if left unchecked.