Authenticity

It was one of those mornings when the forecast was cold and grey, so when I stepped onto the beach and saw an amazing display of color that faded nearly as quickly as it appeared, I was both surprised and grateful.

These last three weeks I’ve been contemplating authenticity, wondering what I would write, what I would say. I often thought, “Why was authenticity the first word on my list? I wish an easier word was first.”

After the beautiful color display had vanished, I saw an acquaintance and we stopped to chat. She asked me questions about life and Haiti, and then I asked, “But how are YOU?” to which she replied, “My grandmother died, and I’m sad.”

We spent the next few minutes talking about that, about how important it is to acknowledge emotions but how hard it is to share them with people who often want to fix the situation, offer advice, help us “move on.”

Recognizing the emotions others are experiencing and being comfortable with mirroring those emotions is vital for true relationship. But we ourselves have to be living in authenticity before we can see those emotions in others and be willing to be vulnerable with them.

According to Brenè Brown, one of the most powerful things we can say is, ”I don’t even know what to say right now, but I am so glad you told me.”

My beach friend told me that someone she considered a dear friend told her she just needed to “move on” from her grandmother’s death and those words had cut deeply.

Our conversation then drifted to the idea of authenticity, how we need to be able to be our true selves with others, how we have a human need to express our emotions in a safe place.

Authenticity is hard to define when it's present. It’s easier to identify when it's absent.

It's my desire to live a life of authenticity so that when others are in my presence they feel comfortable being their most authentic selves.